Art

Art is hard. Any form of it, and I think that is a worldwide accepted fact. Lately I have to remind myself this and shut out the heavy heart that follows criticism. I have to fight through wanting to give up, drop the brush and pencil, again. Long ago, I forgot what it felt like to have fun with, to enjoy, art and not want to cry because I didn’t get a “wow” or “that’s really good!” I actually began to hide my artwork because I felt the need to protect myself; I poured all my emotions at the time into my pieces and to be told that they needed to be corrected translated into something else.
What I got was that I drew too many skeletons. My work was too stylized.
I started to get angry. I wanted to shout that they weren’t saying Picasso worked in cubism too often, Monet painted too many landscapes, Jacob Lawrence did too many collages, and Andy Goldsworthy should do something other than Land Art.
My escape, my way out of pain, who I was through paint didn’t need to be corrected. There is no correct personality.  I held onto that thought for a very long time but I also stopped drawing and slowly I have stopped painting.
However… I am beginning again but this time I am seeking help from books. Books don’t tell you what to draw and how often you should draw it– they show you methods of how to draw. That’s what’s important. So I will draw as many messed up faces, skeletons, stylized scenes, and paint non-symmetrical paintings as I damn well please.

Sick Skele.

(Skip to Today for news.)

Running up to Scintilla, I’m going to tell you about myself in case you are new to my blog. Where to start? I think why I chose The Ink Skeleton for my name would be good. 
   I chose it because skeletons hold meaning for me, not the emo-I-think-I’m-so-cool meaning. You see, my mother is an artist and she went to UT for it where she learned about the basics of art. Well, when I was ten I asked her to teach me how to draw people realistically (an art from I valued then and now above most). She told me that people, like a house, you start with the foundation: Skeleton. She gave me a pencil, kneaded eraser, ten by five piece of paper, anatomy book and told me to draw.
  “One thing we are told in art school is to copy the masters. Copy this drawing.” She added and I drew. I didn’t stop until I was proud of what was before me and when I was, I realized something I’m not sure any ten year-old should realize. I felt like that skeleton; scary to most, hollow but I was there and I was who I was. I was real, I’d never hide who I was and that is what made me and the skeleton beautiful. 
    Why The Ink Skeleton and not The Pencil Skeleton? After that first drawing, I never stopped drawing them and much to my mom’s irritation, they would frequently be in pen. They would also be on lined paper. Some of my mom’s favorites are on lined paper which is bad because they have high amounts of acid, so they will eventually fall apart.
My tag-line, “One day you will understand why I paint myself.”, is in reference to how not only drew on paper but myself and now I have a tattoo–I want more. Some of those around me don’t understand why I get tattoos and thus, my tag-line. My header is the first skull I painted and my pride.  

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Today
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I’m sick, like horrible vomiting sick with even more trouble breathing. So I am lying in my bed with coffee and listening to the You’ve Got Mail Soundtrack. I regret my words Thursday where I said I prefer to get sick on the weekends, and now here I am, sick during spring break. Although, I don’t regret them because being sick is helluva lot better than having to go to school. The thing that really sucks: I can’t sleep like I want to because of my nose. 

Uncomfortable Skele is uncomfortable.

I do have awesome news, though! Mom found a half-buck skull about the same size of my first, if not a little bigger. As well as a dog skull, spine, rib bones and two vulture skulls. Pictures to come.