Deserving

After reading the beautiful and heartrending article written by my sister Abigail Markov, Mirror, Mirror: Awkward Ways Abuse Screws With Your Head, I awoke to reality that I am not a hard working person. Why did I ever fight for that title? Me, who skips classes because I am exhausted for pathetic reasons. Me, who groans when my parents ask for help and wait for the opportunity to escape then has the nerve to boast to anyone who will listen about what I did.
My parents say they are proud of me but they have nothing to be proud of, because what I have I given them? Who have I grown into? A girl who attempts suicide when things get rocky because she can’t think past her nose. I’d rather my parents were angry with me because that is what I deserve, what makes sense. Stop giving the gold medal to the person who didn’t compete.

There is a voice in my head that tells me that I should not have been born, and it gives hundreds of reasons why. However, there is the voice that tells me to prove it wrong. It tells me fight. Prove that you deserve your the pride and love of your family.

IMG_2941

Ride the Waves.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s